Global Daily Planet

The Communist New Age United Nations is apparently upset with Thai security forces for killing 108 Muslim terrorists in southern Thailand this past Wednesday. The machette-wielding Muslim youths (or as My Cousin Vinny would say "yutes") were killed when they rather stupidly attacked Thai police stations and Thai army posts with their machettes. The jihadi "yutes" were no doubt surprised to discover that their machettes aren't so effective against machine guns (which anyone with an IQ higher than a child's shoe size knows that Thai soldiers and police carry). The UN's human rights chief complained that Thai security forces violated the Muslim terrorist yutes' human rights by killing them (that sound you hear is Dean Jonathan Swift rolling over in his grave in Dublin's St. Patrick's Cathedral as proof positive that in this day and age it isn't possible to be a satirist anymore since the use of satire presupposes there is a semblance of logic and rationality somewhere at work in the world).

The Israeli On-line Intelligence news group, DEBKAFILES, has some new information about this week's terrorist attack on the foreign diplomatic quarters of West Damascus. The attacks occurred on the main road of the neighbourhood near the Embassies of Iran, Britain and the Sodomite Union. DEBKAFILES believes that it was the Embassy of the Sodomite Union (aka Canada) that was the target of the intended Muslim terrorist attack. DEBKAFILES did not say why the Sodomite Embassy in the Syrian capital would be subject to such an attack. It is the belief of the Global Daily Planet that Muslim jihadis want the peacekeeping forces of the Sodomite Union to leave Afghanistan. It is further the belief of the Global Daily Planet that Muslim jihadis are having their masculinity questioned by female Muslims whenever they kill Canadian soldiers and that is why Muslim jihadis want the Canadians to leave Afghanistan. The reason the Muslim jihadis are having their masculinity questioned is because it isn't considered very heroic to kill soldiers who are riding in tin foil covered tricyles for protection (Tin foil covered tricycles are the only military equipment that the limp wristed pansy government in the Sodomite capital of Ottawa will buy its soldiers). So far the fact that it was the Sodomite Embassy in Damascus that was the subject of the Muslim jihadi terrorist attack has not been mentioned in the press reports of the Sodomite Union's official news agency, The Globe and Mail. The Sodomite news organ has been strangely silent on the matter as has the Sodomite Union's state broadcastor, Radio Pink Moscow (aka the CBC).

The useless pieces of feces who sit in the Canadian Senate have voted overwhelmingly (59 to 11) to pass a bill that will eventually lead to the Bible being banned as "hate literature" in Canada because of the Bible's strong stance against sodomites and lesbian blowhards. The bill's sponsor was the obnoxious scumbag British Columbia MP Svend Robinson the notorious socialist sodomite and well-known jewellery thief. In order to become law, the bill now needs Royal Assent from Queen Elizabeth's Canadian representative, Governor-General Adrienne Clarkson. As the Governor-General is a politically correct airhead Chinawoman, the bill will undoubtedly be given Royal Assent. Canada is now the new USSR (Union of Sodomite Socialist Republics).

Neo-Communist Massachusetts Senator John Forbes Kerry has once again flip-flopped on the question of Iraqi Weapons of Mass Destruction. Last month, Kerry accused President Bush of deliberately misleading Americans on the issue of Weapons of Mass Destruction in order to go to war with Iraq. Then on this past Tuesday night's edition of MSNBC's news program "Hardball", Kerry backtracked. He told program host Chris Matthews that Iraqi Weapons of Mass Destruction may yet be found. Coincidentally or not, the Eucharistic blasphemer's reversal came a day after the Jordanian government announced that this month's al-Qaeda plot to kill 80,000 people with poison gas in Amman the Jordanian capital involved the use of WMDs smuggled across the border from Syria. There has always been speculation that in the long drawn out period to war with Iraq in which Britain and the US were trying to convince the cowardly French to agree to a UN Security Council resolution that Saddam used that lengthy time period to hide his WMDs in Syria.

South African President Thabo Mbeki was inaugurated President of South Africa for a second 5-year term yesterday after his African National Congress Party won over 70% of the vote in South African national elections earlier this month. On the good news side, white celebrity slut airhead Charlize Theron wasn't present at the inauguration.

Breaking news...a series of explosions and bursts of gunfire have rocked the foreign embassy area in the western part of Damascus the Syrian capital. The main road near the Iranian, Canadian and British Embassies is said to have been hit by three to five blasts and heavy gunfire has been heard. There are reports the explosions may have been caused by car bombs.

Joe Clark, the stupidest man ever to occupy the office of Prime Minister of Canada, has formally endorsed current ruling Liberal Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin as quote "the best of two evils". No doubt Opposition Conservative leader Stephen Harper is delighted by Mr. Clark's endorsement of his opponent.

According to the Newsmax web site, the negroid celebrity slut airhead Whoopi Goldberg (who was barking away at yesterday's pro-abortion love fest and freak show in Washington DC) has had about six or seven abortions. Well now, people will know what to get Whoopi for a Non-Mother's Day present next month... a Planned Parenthood Clinics of America Most Valued Customer Gift Certificate! Either that or a 1st In Line reserved spot at the neighbourhood HIV Clinic (although she may have to push Ashley Judd out of line to get that!).

If George A. Romero the well-known maker of zombie movies was walking the streets of Washington DC today, he'd have thought it was quite literally the Day of the Living Dead as thousands upon thousands of fat ugly lesbian blimps and shrill screaming feminazi hags paraded through the streets of the US capital wailing for the right to kill unborn children. The pro-abortion love fest and freak show was sponsored by NOW (National Organization of Witches), the National Abortion Rights Action League, the demonically Planned Parenthood Federation, the ACLU and various other nauseating organizations from across America and the world. Ranting like a female Adolf Hitler at the rally was New York's Stalinist bisexual Senator Hillary Rodham. Also present were your compulsory celebrity slut airheads such as Christina Aguilera and Charlize Theron as well as your compulsory Fidel Castro admiring Marxist dirt bags such as Alec Baldwin and Martin Sheen. After this exhibition, the US capital will definitely require a super-exorcist to cleanse the streets of such a massive onslaught of sulphuric pollution.

Hats off to the brave Greek Cypriot voters of southern Cyprus who in a referendum yesterday courageously told the Communist New Age United Nations where they could stick their plan on the island's reunification. Needless to say, the plan was accepted in the Muslim Turkish Cypriot north. Greek Cypriots rejected the UN plan with a 75% majority while Turkish Cypriots accepted the plan with a 65% majority. Naturally Kofi Annan and other Communist New Age UN officials were stunned by the Greek Cypriot rejection of their plan. Annan bawled that Cyprus had missed an historic opportunity to resolve 30 years of division. However Greek Cypriots decided that they didn't need the Devil's help in resolving their dispute.

The pro-abortion pro-sodomite Democrat candidate for US President, John Forbes Kerry, gave the finger to the Nigerian Cardinal Francis Arinze and received Communion at the Paulist Center in Boston during its 6 PM Mass last night (hopefully the exact time Kerry received was at 7:06 PM because then you could say he received Communion at exactly 6:66 PM). The Paulist Center in Boston is a place of worship notorious for having as its Congregation people who call themselves Roman Catholic but who don't follow the teachings of Roman Catholicism.

Social Democrat Heinz Fischer has been elected President of Austria. He is the first Social Democrat to hold the post since 1986. Mr. Fischer won 52.4% of the vote in today's election against 47.59% for the coalition conservative candidate, Austrian Foreign Minister Benita Ferrero-Waldner.

Thanks to the actions of British police and British Intelligence earlier this week, no tragedy occurred at tonight's Premier English League football match-up between Manchester United and Liverpool at the Old Trafford Stadium.

It was 1700 years ago today that the Greek Roman legionnaire George was martyred for refusing to renounce his Christian faith. George had been ordered by his pagan Emperor worshipping Commanding Officer to renounce Christ and when he refused, George was beheaded on the spot. During the Middle Ages, many legends grew up around George. Of course the most famous legend is that he once slew a fire-breathing dragon. To all my English friends, Happy Saint George's Day!

The Nigerian Cardinal Francis Arinze, a top Vatican official close to Pope John Paul II, told John Forbes Kerry, the pro-abortion pro-sodomite Democrat Party candidate for President, that he cannot receive Communion. Said Arinze, "An unambiguously pro-abortion politician is not fit to receive Communion." No doubt Cardinal Arinze's remarks came as a shock to Kerry the satanic Sabbatian-Frankist adherent who poses as a Roman Catholic. As for Kerry himself, the Antichrist's most pre-eminent American disciple (after the Clintons) spent the day in Washington DC parading alongside lesboNazi hags and protesting President George W. Bush's signing of a bill banning partial-birth abortions.

Malaysia's scumbag neo-Nazi Prime Minister has called on the world to rise up and attack Israel. The successor to Muslim Hitler Mahathir Mohamad is hosting a meeting of the 57-member Organization of the Islamic Conference (a meeting of Heinz 57 mutts!) to discuss what should be done about Israel and US President George W. Bush's support of Ariel Sharon's plan to hold on to parts of the West Bank where Jews are the majority population. The two-bit Muslim Fuhrer snivelled that the conflict was not about religion but state terrorism (he neglects to mention the fact that the states involved in state terrorism in the Middle East; Syria, Iran and Saudi Arabia are all Muslim and the reason they support state terrorism is because of their Muslim fundamentalist beliefs). The West needs a Richard Coeur de Leon (Richard the Lion Heart) to arise and go around and kick Muslim butt all over the world. Sadly there's no such figure in the West. Of course, Richard's nemesis, Saladin, even though he was a Muslim was at least an honourable man. Today's dirt bags who lead the Muslim world are not.

Sodomite terrorist scumbags (who call themselves the so-called "Gay Militia") burst into a meeting room last Saturday at the Coast Plaza Hotel in Calgary, Alberta, Canada (where the Concerned Christian Coalition was holding its national convention) and shouted obscenities. Apparently seven dykes and one fag broke into the room wearing bandanna-covered faces (they were not only sexually anatomically-challenged perverts but ugly sexually-anatomically challenged perverts at that!). The Concerned Christian Coalition were meeting to discuss Bill C-250, a sodofascist piece of legislation that it would make it a hate crime to criticize fag and dyke sexual practises. The bill would allow Canada's senile sodomite loving judges to eventually declare the Bible a piece of hate literature. The bill was drafted and sponsored by British Columbia MP Svend "Open Your Back Door Wide For Me" Robinson the well-known socialist sodomite and well-known jewellery thief.

Breaking news...up to 3,000 people have been killed or injured in a huge explosion after two fuel trains collided in North Korea. The blast happened at Ryongchon Station 50 km north of Pyongyang the North Korean capital. The incident happened just nine hours after a train carrying North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il passed through the station on his way home from a visit to Beijing. Mr. Kim will no doubt blame the United States Central Intelligence Agency for the explosion in a belated attempt to kill him.

More details are emerging about the suicide bomb plot by 10 tolerant peace-loving Muslims to kill soccer fans at this Saturday's Premier English League match between champions Manchester United and Liverpool at the Old Trafford Stadium in Manchester. A total of ten tickets to that game were found in the possessions of each one of the 10 suspects taken into custody. The tickets were to individual seats in 10 different parts of the stadium. The suicide bombers planned to sit all around the Theatre of Dreams stadium and then blow themselves up among the 67,000 Old Trafford crowd turning the Theatre of Dreams into a field of nightmares. Meanwhile Britain's bisexual Princess Tony (aka British Prime Minister Tony Blair) has condemned Israel's solitary killing of the Hamas Palestinian terrorist Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi as a "crime against humanity".

Tolerant peace-loving Muslims are starting to spread their message of "peace and tolerance" among their Muslim brethren. Four suicide car bombings have killed at least 68 people--20 of them children-- in the Iraqi city of Basra. Meanwhile a suicide car bomb exploded outside the Security Forces building in the Saudi Arabian capital of Riyadh leaving at least 9 people dead and over 60 injured.

Apparently the 10 tolerant peace-loving Muslims who were arrested in the Greater Manchester area yesterday were planning a terrorist attack on Manchester's Old Trafford sports stadium during a football game this coming Saturday between Manchester United and Liverpool. What British Intelligence should do now is send Liverpudian football fans over to the Afghan-Pakistan border region to tackle Osama. The subsequent bloody and ghastly results for Osama and his entourage will have US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld hitting his forehead and saying, "oh. What a dummy! oh. What a dummy! Why didn't I think of this before?".

Tibet's so-called spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama gave a speech at the University of British Columbia in the Canadian city of Vancouver today. The Dalai Lama said that peace would not be achieved in the world until "all of humanity lives under universal laws". A day will come when all of humanity shall live under "universal laws" and the individual who shall bring in those laws is called the Antichrist. The Dalai Lama gave the speech after being awarded an Honourary Doctorate of Laws Degree from the University of British Columbia. Also on the same podium today being honoured and being given an Honourary Doctorate of Laws Degree from the UBC was Desmond Tutu the Communist and heretical Anglican former Archbishop of South Africa. The fact that two such unworthy and undeserving individuals were honoured by a University could only happen at a University in a Canadian province where that province's second largest industry is the production and consumption of Marijuana.

This just in... Jim Cantalupo the Chairman and CEO of MacDonald's who news reports say "revitalized the fast-food giant with healthier menu options" has died at the age of 60.

As British police arrested 10 tolerant peace-loving Muslims in a plot to blow up a target in the Greater Manchester area of England today, it has also come to light that as a result of British Intelligence raids made last month, British Intelligence uncovered a plot by tolerant peace-loving Muslims to attack the Sears Tower in Chicago using a radioactive dirty bomb laced with the deadly chemical osmium tetroxide. Hats off to British Intelligence for stopping this ghastly plot. Another job well done, Double O Seven!

Muslims in the ancient Spanish city of Cordoba apparently want to be allowed to pray to Allah in the city's Roman Catholic Cathedral. Cordoba's lovely baroque Renaissance Cathedral apparently sits in the centre of an ancient mosque complex and local Muslims want to be allowed to pray there again. They have appealed to the Vatican to intercede on their behalf. Zakarias Maza, the director of the Taqwa mosque in neighbouring Granada said yesterday, "We hope the Vatican will give a signal that it has a vision of openness and dialogue. It would be good if there were a gesture of tolerance on their part." Muslims are of course famous for their practise of religious tolerance as can be seen by the examples of Saudi Arabia banning all forms of religious worship except Muslim in Saudi Arabia, Muslims crucifying Christians in the southern Sudan, Muslims killing Hindus in India and Muslims slaughtering Buddhists in southern Thailand. Perhaps the Vatican in the name of ecumenism and religious tolerance can say that it will allow Cordoba Muslims to pray to Allah in the Cathedral area if Jews are allowed to freely pray to Yahweh on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem without being harassed by stone-throwing Palestinian Muslims.

Earlier today, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il was reported to have met with Chinese President Hu Jintao at secret talks in Beijing (now that the Global Daily Planet has exposed them, the talks aren't so secret anymore). Apparently a sealed special railway train took Mr. Kim and his entourage to the Chinese capital. The last time the North Korean leader visited his old Communist ally was back in May, 2001. As to what was the nature of the secret talks the Global Daily Planet was unable to discover as the Global Daily Planet's East Asia correspondent Harry Woo took an unexpected detour to a Beijing MacDonald's where he used a discount coupon to get 5 Chinese Yen off a Big Mac. After being thoroughly blasted by Global Daily Planet editor Christopher Milner, Harry suggested that possibly the nature of the secret talks was where was the best place to buy fortune cookies as well as a lengthy discussion on why Confucius said so much.

While Eton the exclusive British Anglican private boys' school rather stupidly names its first Muslim chaplain today, an incident in Kosovo among UN peacekeepers yesterday once again shows how well Muslims are able to get along with other people. A Jordanian Muslim police officer working as a UN peacekeeper in Kosovo opened fire on his fellow UN correctional officers-21 Americans, two Turks and an Austrian before finally being shot dead himself. Two American female peacekeepers were killed in the 10-minute gunbattle yesterday in the Kosovo UN compound. 10 Americans in total were wounded in the attack. According to one US policeman assigned to guard the wounded, "the attack was organized". Four other Jordanian Muslim police officers were placed under arrest following the shootout. Meanwhile, US President George W. Bush who seems to be suffering from the delusion that he's Woodrow Wilson (who himself was a delusional President to begin with) continues to insist that democracy can work in a land where the vast majority of people are Muslim. And as Bush makes these grandiose Wilsonian pronouncements, bodies of US soldiers continue to be shipped home by the planeload from Iraq.

The Global Daily Planet said it less than a day ago and it's already happened...Kofi Annan the scumbag Communist Secretary-General of the Communist New Age United Nations has condemned Israel's assassination of the Palestinian terrorist scumbag Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi and the limpwristed pansy foreign ministers of the EU, France, Portugal, Britain and Italy have done the same.

The Global Daily Planet said it almost a month ago... the Palestinian terrorist scumbag Abdel Aziz al-Rantissi (who succeeded the Palestinian terrorist scumbag Sheikh Ahmed Yassin as leader of the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas) wouldn't be around long enough for people in the West to even bother learning to pronounce his longwinded name. Earlier today, Mr. Rantissi was driving his car in a Gaza suburb when it was blown apart by missiles fired from an Israeli helicopter gunship. As Mr. Rantissi makes his way to the land of pitchforks and boiler room temperatures down below, Israel can now expect the usual blather of hypocritical condemnations made by the Communist New Age United Nations and the limpwristed pansies of the European Union. And for those Palestinians who might be upset by Israel's latest actions, just remember that Sheikh Yassin and Mr. Rantissi might have been alive and well and living in a Palestinian state (with East Jerusalem as the capital) today if the Palestinians hadn't been so stupid as to reject Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak's generous offer made back in the summer of 2000 and then proceeded to embark on a terrorist intifada instead.

In news out of Canada, British Columbia's socialist sodomite MP Svend Robinson (who wants the Bible banned as hate literature for saying that sodomite and lesbian sex is sinful) has found himself in an embarrassing situation (Note: it wasn't bathhouse sex since Mr. Robinson doesn't consider that embarrassing). It turns out the socialist sodomite was taking his socialism quite literally to heart as the champion of the classless society helped himself to an expensive piece of jewellery last Friday at a Public Auction. On Tuesday of this week, Robinson turned himself in to a police station, admitted what he had done and returned the gold ring. Last night, Svend gave a tearful press conference with his boyfriend on side and snivelled that he was under stress--that's why he says he shoplifted the ring. The one good thing out of this is that Svend says he may retire from politics which would be good since Mr. Robinson is one of the most tireless promoters of Antichrist philosophy and Antichrist legislation in Canada today.

Two Arab TV stations in the Middle East have broadcast an audiotape from delusional Mahdi wannabe Osama bin Laden in which he offers Europe a truce if it "stops attacking Muslims". Obviously the al-Qaeda leader is starting to feel the heat (just wait till he gets around to kicking the bucket, then he'll really feel the heat). He's starting to lose his touch if he's afraid of the limpwristed pansy Europeans. Making a truce with them is like a wrestler making a truce with a hairdresser. It appears that old Osama isn't as tough as he's cracked up to be. Maybe the US Air Force should start dropping Stayfree Maxi Pads on the border region between Pakistan and Afghanistan in case the Sheikh is in need of them.

US President George W. Bush has accepted Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's plans for withdrawal that would include Israel hanging on to large portions of the West Bank including East Jerusalem. This will hopefully teach the stupid Palestinians a lesson for rejecting Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak's generous offer made in the year 2000 of a Palestinian state consisting of the entire Gaza Strip and 95% of the West Bank with East Jerusalem as the Palestinian captital. Like the brainless German people who blindly followed the despotic Adolf Hitler back in the 1930s, the brainless Palestinians chose to follow the Palestinian terrorist Yasser Arafat in rejecting Barak's generous offer and instead support an intifada of terrorist attacks and suicide bombings against innocent Israeli civilians. Now it's time for the Palestinian people to pay a price for their stupidity and their support of terrorism. Let this serve as a lesson for other peoples in the 21st Century--if they choose to reject a generous peace offer and engage in terrorism thinking they can gain more--let their punishment be that they shall gain less.

Earlier today, Hungarian police arrested three Arab nationals (a Palestinian terrorist scumbag and two Syrian terrorist scumbags) who were planning to blow up Budapest's Holocaust Museum. Israeli President Moshe Katsav is currently visiting the Hungarian capital of Budapest. By seeking to target the Holocaust Museum, Muslim jihadis are showing their true colours and are showing the world what total liars they are when they say they're just anti-Israel not anti-Jewish. Islamic Jihadis are, in fact, Nazi to the core in their ideology. Adolf Hitler is alive and well and living in the hearts of Muslim Jihadis everywhere.

Seven Chinese men taken hostage yesterday near the town of Falluja in Iraq have been freed by their captors, China's official Xinhua news agency has reported. Quite possibly their Arab kidnappers were like a few white people I know who think that all orientals look the same and kidnapped the 7 Chinese because they mistook them for Japanese (Japan has troops in Iraq supporting the US occupation). After Beijing probably threatened to drop atomic bombs on Shi'ite and Sunni strongholds (unlike the West, they don't take such a politically correct namby-pamby approach in dealing with such matters!), Muslim religious clerics probably alerted the kidnappers to their mistake and the hostages were immediately let go. Either that or maybe one of the 7 Chinamen taken was a Chinese version of O. Henry's character of Red Chief, someone who engaged in a lot of childish immature antics and games and asked a lot of stupid, annoying questions which caused his Arab captors to commit the Japanese practise of hari kari and the sole surviving Arab captor let the annoying Chinaman and his six compatriots go.

Today is Easter Sunday. On this particular Easter Sunday, April 11th, 2004, a very rare event occurred. Today, Easter Sunday fell on the same day in the calendar of both the Western Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church. Pope John Paul II, Patriarch Teoctist of the Romanian Orthodox Church and Patriarch Alexis II of the Russian Orthodox Church used the significance of this occasion to call for the unity of both the Western and Eastern Churches.

Reports in the Arab media say that the insurgent Mahdi Army of Iraq's revolting Shi'ite cleric Moqtada Al-Sadr is being financed by the Ayatollahs of Iran. If true, don't expect President Bush to do anything about Iran until this election year is over. And if it's a President Kerry coming to power, expect a Kerry White House to do what the French would do in a similar situation, wave the white flag.

TIME Magazine's cover story this week, "Why Did Jesus Have To Die?" was surprisingly good and also free of the modernist liberal drivel that Time religion articles are generally noted for. It explained orthodox theories of the Atonement quite fairly and sympathetically. To be totally balanced, the article did mention the Exemplar theory of Atonement first formulated by the extremely bad philospher and even worse theologian Peter Abelard of the Middle Ages. The Exemplar theory of Atonement is the one favoured by liberal churchmen and the Social Gospel movements. It is the idea that Christ is meant to be seen as an example to us of what we can do and what we can achieve rather than seeing Christ as the Divine Lamb of God sacrificed for the sins of humanity. Sadly the vast majority of Church denominational leaders today favour Abelard's so-called Exemplar theory of Atonement (which is really no Atonement at all!). Back in the 1st Century AD, Christ said to the religious leadership, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" and each one being convicted by their own conscience dropped his stone and left. If Christ were to appear in the 21st Century AD and say to today's modern religious leadership, "Let he who is without sin, go and build the world's most perfect Utopia", the religious leaders inspired by their own sense of self-esteem and self-affirmation would leave and then go and try to do just that.

Today is Holy Thursday (also known as Maundy Thursday or the Night of the Last Supper) in the Church calendar. 100 years ago today, April 8th, 1904 was an Unholy Day however as the British satanist Aleister Crowley performed a dark ritual in Cairo, Egypt and a demonic spirit being identifying itself as the ancient Egyptian god, Horus appeared to him. It was from this spirit guide that Crowley got much of his inspiration to write his satanic books. And for that Crowley winds up on the Beatles' "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club" album cover. Where is the justice in the world?

It was 30 years ago today that Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth's home-run record.

It turns out that Anti-Defamation League Executive Director Abraham Foxman is a strong supporter of abortion and sodomite marriages. The picture is suddenly becoming a little clearer vis a vis Foxman. Now we know the real reason this beady-eyed character threw such a massive spaz attack when he heard the news Mel Gibson was making a film called "The Passion of the Christ". Mel Gibson is a traditionalist Roman Catholic and as such opposes abortion and fag marriages which good old Foxy boy just loves. No doubt the satanic Foxy boy also guessed correctly that evangelical Christians would make up the vast majority of Gibson's movie audience and evangelical Christians are likewise opposed to abortion and fag marriages which good old Foxy boy just loves. Of course if the old Fox wasn't the secular humanist fundamentalist fanatic that he is, he would realize that the Judaism of Moses is also opposed to abortion and sodomite marriages. So Foxman's opposition to Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" has nothing to do with Foxman's Jewishness or Gibson's supposed "anti-Semitism", it has to do with the fact that Foxman is another one of these left-wing pinko perverts who needs to be given the raspberry he so richly deserves.

Today in the Rwandan capital of Kigali, Rwandans remembered the 10th anniversary of the start of the 1994 Rwandan genocide in which 800,000 members of the minority Tutsi tribe were massacred by members of the majority Hutu tribe. The leaders of the Western world and the United Nations were conspicuous by their absence at the 10th anniversary memorial service in the Rwandan capital. Rwandan President Paul Kagame said that the Western world doesn't seem too perturbed by the genocide of black people and don't pay the same attention that they do to the genocide of white people. Indeed the United Nations, France, Britain and the United States under Bill Clinton did nothing while the Rwandan genocide was happening. Contrast that with the actions of the United States five years later when white Albanian Moslems were being killed by Serb militias in Kosovo. William Jefferson "Scumbag" Clinton crapped his pants when he heard the news and ordered the immediate NATO bombing of white Serb civilian targets in Serbia in retaliation. So the western world and the UN didn't care then in 1994 and it looks like they don't care now.

It turns out the firebombing of a Jewish elementary school in Montreal, Canada early Monday morning was executed as a direct retaliation for Israel's assassination of the Palestinian terrorist scumbag Sheikh Ahmed Yassin last month. The United Talmud Torah School was firebombed around 2:30 AM Monday morning on the eve of this year's Jewish Passover. A warning note outside the burned-out library of the school linked the attack to Sheikh Yassin's sudden departure out of this world. Canada's CTV News Network quoted a portion of the letter as saying, "...this is just a beginning. If your crimes continue in the Middle East, our attacks will continue." The note shows what total liars Muslim jihadis are when they speak to the Western news media. Muslim jihadis claim they are only anti-Israel not anti-Semitic or anti-Jewish. Yet this Jewish elementary school is in Canada not Israel. Muslim jihadis are just following the teachings of the Pervert Mohammed who taught that the Golden Age of the Messiah and the Mahdi would not come until Muslims had killed every last Jew off the face of the earth.

With all the controversy generated by Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" this Lenten season, one thing the modernist liberal heretics have consistently done is to vomit forth the same old tiresome heresy that the Gospels are not to be regarded as historical documents. Why they aren't to be regarded as historical documents the modernist heretics never really answer. They generally babble something about Gospel accounts contradicting one another. Of course in philosophy there is a difference between a seeming contradiction and an actual contradiction. In the Gospel accounts, whatever the modernist heretics label as "contradiction" is only a seeming contradiction. They have never been able to produce an actual contradicition (that's because there isn't any!). The modernist heretics have been joined in the regurgitation of this liberal doctrine (that the Gospels aren't actual history) by the vigourous vomiting of numerous secular media such as Time Magazine, Newsweek, Newsday, ABC News, NBC News, The New York Times, Maclean's Magazine and Canada's national roll of toilet paper (better known as The Globe and Mail). One thing the modernist heretics are really bellowing forth in lieu of Gibson's "Passion" movie and the overly sensitive feelings of neurotic overly paranoid Jews such as Abraham Foxman and Rabbi Marvin Hier is that the Gospel accounts of Christ's trial and passion were written by the Gospel writers (or should I say "Gospel communities" since it's alway been a modernist liberal line of reasoning that "It takes an entire community to write a Gospel") as a whitewash of Roman Governor Pontius Pilate since the Gospel writers didn't want to suffer the wrath of the Roman authorities for portraying a Roman government official in a bad light. Therefore, according to the modernist liberal heretic line of reasoning, the Gospel writers deliberately shifted blame to the Jewish priesthood and a Jewish mob. Yes, those Gospel writers were real political spindoctors all right! Being thrown to the lions, being crucified and being beheaded is bad enough but think what the Romans might do if Pontius Pilate is portrayed in a bad light in the Gospels...better whitewash the guy!

Lithuania's Parliament has voted by a narrow margin to impeach Lithuanian President Rolandas Paksas for violating the country's Constitution. Mr. Paksas, 47, was accused of leaking classified material and granting citizenship to a Russian businessman in return for financial support. The speaker of the Lithuanian Parliament will be acting President for two months pending new elections.

The Palestinian terrorist scumbag Yasser Arafat has finally decided to come out of the terrorist closet (where he has hidden since the signing of the Oslo Accords back in 1993) and formally bring the Palestinian terrorist groups Hamas and Islamic Jihad into a united Palestinian Authority (birds of a feather do flock together!). However don't expect the limpwristed pansies who make up the political leadership of the European Union to now recognize Mister Arafat as a terrorist even though he's now come out of the closet. As far as the gutless and brainless stalwarts of the European Union go, Mister Arafat is their darling little boy.

Taiwanese Opposition Leader Lien Chan of the Nationalist Kuomintang Party is no longer just demanding a recount of last month's Taiwanese Presidential election. Mister Chan says that there were so many discrepancies in last month's Presidential vote that he wants the entire election held over again. Needless to say, last month's narrow margin election winner, incumbent President Chen Shui-bian of the Democratic Progressive Party disagrees with Mister Chan's accessment of that election.

The United States-led coalition in Iraq have issued an arrest warrant for Shia Muslim cleric Moqtada Sadr, accusing him of being responsible for the start of yesterday's Shi'ite Muslim uprising in Iraq.

The suspected ringleader of the 3/11 bombings blew himself up along with four other suspects during a police raid on a building in a suburb of Madrid last night. One Spanish policeman died in the blast and 11 other people were hurt. The ringleader, Serhane ben Abdelmajid Farkhet alias "The Tunisian" is now enjoying 4000 Degrees Fahrenheit temperatures while getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork.

It looks like electing the Socialist limpwristed pansy Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero to be their new Prime Minister hasn't done the Spanish people much good. An explosive device found on the Madrid to Seville high speed railway line yesterday has been discovered to be similar to those used in the 3/11 bombings. So it appears that Muslim terrorists are still going after Spain despite Zapatero's announcement that he's withdrawing Spanish troops from Iraq. The delusional Imam Mahdi wannabee Osama bin Laden has made it perfectly clear he wants to re-establish the Islamic kingdom of Andalusia in Spain. So the only way to stop the Muslim terrorists is to fight them. And that way it will make a rail trip to Seville to see your barber a little less dangerous.

More evidence that Arizona Republican Senator John McCain is seriously considering becoming Democratic Presidential candidate John Forbes Kerry's running mate. In a speech in Boston, Massachusetts (the home town of Massachusetts Senator John Kerry) yesterday, McCain praised the Democrats as a fine party and slammed President Bush. It also turns out that former Counterterrorism and Cybersecurity Czar Richard Clarke who boasted about being a Republican to the 9/11 Commission admitted that he had supported Senator McCain against Bush in the 2000 Republican Presidential primaries.

British Prime Minister Tony Blair has announced that due to the Madrid 3/11 bombings, identity cards for all British citizens will be introduced "even more quickly than we anticipated". And so, "what rough beast, its hour come round at last" will be born out of all this?